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From time to time, I am consumed by wanderlust.

I want to see the world. Reading about it just doesn’t cut it.

As much as I love being here at the U of I, sometimes I just want to break free.

Just a few more weeks before I get a chance.

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It’s finally here. I’m just as excited as those HP fans when Deathly hallows came out.

Read a couple of chapters- it’s fast paced, as expected.
Fuck sleep

Music choice while I read? You, You’re a History in Rust by DMST

More later.

Everyone goes through days when the shit hits the fan.

People ask me – is it all worth it, the work involved, the hours you spend hitting the books?

I’ve always emphatically said yes, though I have trouble spelling out exactly why.

Days like today make it easier. I got to sit in a room and listen to and later interact with, some amazing people. People that changed the world as we know it. Better yet, I sat in a room full of about a 100 people – all of whom want to change the world. These are all people that, in part are all going through the same journey I am. That’s why I love ECE at U of I.

Scientists study the world as it is; engineers create the world that has never been.

-Theodore Von Kármán

Flashback to roughly a year ago, four kids lay sprawled out on the grass, staring up at the stars that filled the midwestern night sky. Quiet music filled the air. It was something unlike anything  he had heard before, soft, majestic, soothing and yet incredibly intense. Seemingly discrete layers of sound that somehow blended together to create a whole much greater than the sum of its parts.

To call him surprised would be an understatement, he had thought he knew everything, that he knew himself. he was reminded of symmetry, of the beauty inherent in the nature of music and just how insignificant he was. He didn’t want it to end.

Over time, he adjusted. Those friendships solidified, he discovered even more music that he hadn’t heard. The wonder, the awe faded and was forgotten.

Then this semester happened. Wednesday happened.

 

 

 

I’ve come to realize that some things just aren’t cool.

I can’t sit back and comfort myself by saying “I’m not good at this”, “I used to know this” or “I’m too lazy” anymore. This place is too special for that. If I don’t force myself to become the person I once was – I don’t deserve to be here.

He stepped outside.
It felt good to be alone.
He wished he was drunk,
Thought about something he said,
And how stupid it had sounded

You push the needle in.

From life you escape,
Reality’s that way
Colours in your mind
satisfy your mind.